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Southernmost Tuesday Night by ~RevolutionnaireRouge:iconRevolutionnaireRouge:



orange light streaks
through frazzled fox palm
dancing across the street
to the tune of wind rattled fronds
and back-alley burlesque beats

phantoms rattle in ¾ time
outnumbering the sober
their bodies buried and
rotting
like the captain’s floor
we all tripped over
uneven sidewalks
that carry whispered promises
and low calls and high heels

mama says town
is dead on tuesday
im not sure i believe
sky’s closer here
or maybe earth is
just
farther away
:iconrevolutionnairerouge:

Author's Comments

Key West. Didn't capitalize.

Comments


love 2 2 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconjohnfinch:
I just wanted to tell you this is a wonderful piece, I really enjoyed it.
You should be proud of this.

--
Follow me and all the things I do: [link]
:iconrevolutionnairerouge:
Thank you very much - in the oddest way it makes me proud to have you say I should be proud. I'm never very confident about my work, I suppose. I liked this one more than some of my others though...

Most of the lines came to me while I was walking the streets, seeing or hearing the very things I ended up trying to write about. I think it ended up being more the town than me, that made the piece. That old drinking town has a lot to offer.

--
"They turn over their little purple moonlight pages, in which their secret naked doodlings do show..."
:iconjohnfinch:
Drinking towns are the best kind of towns, heheh.
But yes, I don't say that to a lot of people, but I really like this poem alot. (And I'm really picky about poetry. :D)

--
Follow me and all the things I do: [link]
:iconrevolutionnairerouge:
Yea, they really are. Even if you're not a drinker (too young, in my case), the life that moves through those kind of towns is enough to make one feel giddy. Thank you again, I feel even more honored.

--
"They turn over their little purple moonlight pages, in which their secret naked doodlings do show..."
:iconjohnfinch:
Haha, you're never too young.
:D
And yes, you're welcome.

--
Follow me and all the things I do: [link]
:iconbrassplaya:
Ok I love your poetry.You explain things very vividly.
:iconthelemaj:
sky’s closer here
or maybe earth is
just
farther away


Interesting piece.

--
The fiery windowsills of a setting sun.
:iconrevolutionnairerouge:
Thank you. It seems a bit contradictory, but if you're familiar with the area, or even with somewhere that evokes that sort of feeling - you almost feel consumed, and sort of turned upside down. Things are both closer and farther away, and seemingly impossible to sort apart. It's quite amazing.

--
"They turn over their little purple moonlight pages, in which their secret naked doodlings do show..."
:iconthelemaj:
I know what you mean, and that piece of imagery is grand.

--
The fiery windowsills of a setting sun.

Details

April 12, 2007
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